Category: Asperger’s Syndrome

What to Expect After One Year of Mentoring a Young Adult on the Spectrum

As a parent of a young adult on the autism spectrum, you may be considering mentoring to support your child’s development and help them reach their full potential. At Mentoring Young Adults, we understand the unique challenges and opportunities that come with supporting young adults on the spectrum. In this article, we will share with you what you can expect after one year of mentoring a young adult on the spectrum, based on our experiences mentoring young adults.

  1. Improved Social Skills

One of the main goals of mentoring young adults on the spectrum is to develop their social skills. After a year of mentoring, you can expect to see real improvements in your child’s ability to communicate, make friends, and navigate social situations. Our mentors use a wide range of techniques, such as role-playing, modeling appropriate behavior, and encouraging participation in virtual situations building to “real world” sitautions, to help young adults develop essential social skills.

  1. Enhanced Independence and Life Skills

Our mentoring program promotes independence by teaching young adults on the spectrum essential life skills such as organizing, cleaning, and time management. After a year of mentoring, your child will demonstrate increased confidence and skill in performing these tasks on their own. The focus on skill-building and problem-solving during mentoring sessions helps young adults gain the practical abilities necessary for long-term success and self-empowerment.

  1. Better Emotional Regulation and Coping Strategies

Our mentors also focus on helping young adults on the spectrum develop emotional regulation and coping strategies. After one year of mentoring, you can expect to see improvements in your child’s ability to manage stress, express emotions appropriately, and self-regulate in challenging situations. Our mentors work closely with our mentees to identify triggers, develop personalized coping strategies, and encourage self-reflection and mindfulness.

  1. Strengthened Parent-Child Relationship

While the focus of mentoring is primarily on the mentee, the benefits often extend to the entire family. As your child develops new skills, we also us “Parent Time” to help our parents learn new skills as well, building an improved parent-child relationship. After one year of mentoring, you will experience a healthier and happier connection and greatly improved communication between you and your child. Our “Parent Support” helps parents gain new insights into their child’s experience of life on all levels, providing parents with new strategies for supporting their child, and ultimately strengthening and improving the parent-child bond.

  1. Personal Growth and Increased Self-Esteem

After one year of mentoring, our mentees experience personal growth and increased self-esteem. By addressing their unique challenges and building on their strengths, mentoring helps young adults develop a more positive self-image and gain confidence in their abilities. As your child begins to see their progress and achievements, their sense of self-worth and motivation to continue growing will just keep growing.

After one year of mentoring at Mentoring Young Adults, you will experience meaningful progress in your child’s social skills, independence, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. While each young adult on the spectrum is different, our personalized mentoring method creates a significant impact in helping them reach their full potential. As a parent, being part of our mentoring team for your child’s growth and development through mentoring is both rewarding and encouraging. By investing in our mentoring program, you are offering your child the support and resources they need to thrive and soar in their hero’s journey towards independence and self-fulfillment.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

3 Proven Mentoring Tips for Parents to Help Their Child on the Spectrum Reach Their Potential

Raising a young adult on the spectrum presents unique challenges and opportunities for parents. While every autistic young adult is different, certain mentoring techniques can make a world of difference. In this article, we will explore three tips for parents to try at home, based on our experiences at Mentoring Young Adults.

Tip 1: Establish Routines and Clear Expectations

Young adults on the spectrum frequently flourish in organized settings with foreseeable routines. Creating a daily schedule can help provide them with a sense of stability and security. Here’s how to start:

  1. Collaborate with your child: Work together to design a routine that accommodates their needs, preferences, and strengths.
  2. Be consistent: Stick to the routine as closely as possible but be flexible when necessary. Unexpected changes can be stressful for them, so provide ample warning and support when alterations are unavoidable.
  3. Set clear expectations: Be explicit about what is expected of your child and provide step-by-step instructions when necessary.

Tip 2: Foster Social Skills Development

Social skills can be particularly challenging for young adults on the spectrum, but they are so important for fostering independence and overall well-being. Here are some ways to support their social skills development:

  1. Practice role-playing: Use role-play to replicate social situations, like ordering food, making small talk, or resolving conflicts. Provide feedback and guidance as needed.
  2. Join social groups or clubs: Encourage your child to participate in group activities with peers who share similar interests, such as art classes, sports teams, or TTRPG. This can provide a safe environment for them to practice social skills.
  3. Model appropriate social behavior: Demonstrate how to maintain calm reasoning while discussing different points of view, use polite language, and show empathy in everyday interactions. Don’t take what seems like lack of empathy from them personally.

Tip 3: Promote Independence Through Skill-Building

Helping your child develop practical skills is crucial for their long-term independence and success. Focus on:

  1. Daily living skills: Teach them how to perform tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Start with simple tasks and gradually increase complexity as they gain confidence.
  2. Time management and organization: Use visual aids, such as calendars or to-do lists, to help your teen learn to manage their time and stay organized.
  3. Problem-solving: Encourage your child to think critically and solve problems independently. Offer guidance when needed but allow them the opportunity to develop their own solutions.

As a parent, you are always seeking out support and resources your child requires to thrive as they mature and evolve. Employing these mentoring techniques, will build on their safe zones, enabling your child to reach their full potential. Bear in mind, patience and trying to come from how they perceive every issue is crucial, and each new milestone reached deserves acknowledgement.

It’s important to acknowledge that occasionally, despite your utmost efforts and following our mentoring program’s guidance, your child may progress bet by collaborating with a mentor beyond the family. Our mentors supply an unbiased outlook and years of experience with young adults on the spectrum, empowering your child to create new life skills and increased confidence in their capabilities. Working as a team with our mentoring program will complement and build the support you offer at home, promoting even more growth and development for your child.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

4 Tips to Convince a Young Adult with Autism on Trying Our Mentoring Program

So many parents of young adults with autism spend a great deal of their time seeking resources to help their child succeed our in the world. Mentoring can be a powerful tool to unlock your child’s potential and provide them with the guidance and support they need. An experienced mentor offers emotional support, guidance, and practical skills that help young adults with autism navigate unique challenges, such as developing social skills, building self-esteem, managing school life, improving communication, coping with sensory overload, and finding the right career path. In this article, we’ll provide tips on how to convince your child to try our mentoring program and explore the many benefits of mentoring for young adults with autism.

Remember to ask their opinion about trying mentoring. “I found a place with a lot of experience mentoring young adults. They are there to help you with whatever you feel you want to work on. What do you think?”

  1. Highlight the benefits of mentoring: 
    Discuss the benefits that our mentors provide, such as improved social skills, enhanced self-esteem, and dealing with school or work challenges. Explain to your child our mentors are experienced with working with young adults on the spectrum. We offer guidance, advice, and emotional support, which can help your child navigate the challenges of dealing with a neurotypical world.
  2. Emphasize the flexibility of the program: 
    Explain that our mentoring programs is flexible and is tailored to meet your child’s individual needs and preferences. They are conducted virtually, allowing your child to remain in ‘their own space” and will be scheduled at a time that works best for your child.
  3. Highlight the mentor’s expertise: 
    Discuss our mentor’s skills and experience, and how they can provide valuable guidance and support to your child. Emphasize that the mentor is there to help your child overcome their challenges and achieve their goals.
  4. Empower your child in the decision:
    It’s essential to involve your child in the decision-making process and get their input on whether they are interested in participating in a mentoring program. Discuss their concerns and answer any questions they may have. It’s crucial to ensure that they feel comfortable about trying out mentoring and that they have the power to decide if they wish to continue.

Our mentoring program can be a valuable tool for young adults with autism to reach their full potential. By highlighting the benefits, focusing on their interests, emphasizing the flexibility of the program, and involving your child in the decision-making process, you can help convince them to try our mentoring program.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

Unlocking the Benefits of Mentoring for Young Adults with Autism: A Guide for Parents

As a parent of a young adult with autism, you may be wondering how you can best support your child as they navigate the challenges of adulthood. One valuable option to consider is mentoring. In this article, we will explore the benefits of mentoring for young adults with autism and provide guidance on how to help your child find the right mentor who can support them in their journey.

  1. Improved Social Skills

Young adults with autism may struggle with social skills and find it difficult to form meaningful relationships. Our mentors provide an opportunity for your child to practice these skills in a safe and supportive environment. We model appropriate social behavior, provides feedback on communication skills, and helps your child navigate social situations, free of judgment, allowing your child to become more confident and adept at building connections with others.

  1. Increased Self-Esteem and Confidence

Many young adults with autism struggle with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in their abilities that do not come easily to them. By providing encouragement, support, and guidance, our mentors help your child build self-esteem and confidence. This can lead to increased independence and a greater sense of self-worth.

  1. Academic and Career Success

Young adults with autism have unique talents and strengths that may go unrecognized. By helping your child identify their strengths and interests, we provide guidance and support in pursuing academic and career goals specifically suited to your child. We also provide assistance with college applications, personal statements, resumes, and job interviews, which greatly increase your child’s chances of success.

  1. Improved Emotional Regulation

Young adults with autism may struggle with emotional regulation and experience intense emotions in response to stressful situations. Mentoring Young Adults helps your child develop coping strategies for managing stress and regulating emotions, leading to greater emotional stability and an improved ability to handle challenging situations.

  1. Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills

We provide an opportunity for your child to work through real-life problems and challenges. By encouraging them to think critically and problem-solve, we help them develop important life skills that will be valuable in every aspect of their life.

Finding a Mentor

If you believe mentoring could be a good fit for your child, the next step is to find a mentor who can provide the support and guidance they need. A mentor who works exclusively with young adults and specifically with young adults on the spectrum. Mentoring Young Adults has been doing so since 2015.

Conclusion

Mentoring can be a valuable experience for young adults with autism. By providing support, guidance, and encouragement, a mentor helps your child develop important life skills and achieve their academic and career goals. If you are interested in exploring mentoring as an option for your child, consider booking an appointment with us today. With the right mentor, your child can thrive and achieve their full potential.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Mentoring Autistic Teens – Path to Greatness

A Families Story About Living with Autism:

In my work of mentoring autistic teens, I am struck with the level of trust, humility and indomitable spirit that I see in these families weekly on their paths to rising above others limitations of them. Mentoring autistic teens has been a truly transformative experience for me and it is such a pleasure to give the clients and the parents new tools to thrive in the world “out there”.

I would like to share one story with you from one of my clients and his mom’s perspective:

Mom’s Story:
I knew my son had a brilliance inside of him that was just waiting to come out … if we could just get past this “autism thing”. At 3 ½ years of age, Stephen was working with a speech pathologist to work on his receptive language skills. There was a set of blocks and a Winnie the Pooh figurine sitting side-by-side on the table.

Pathologist: “Okay Stephen, I want you to put the blocks in front of Winnie the Pooh”

Stephen turned Winnie a quarter turn, so that Winnie was no longer facing forward, but rather facing the blocks. From the sideways angle, the blocks were now in front of Winnie the Pooh on the table.

Wow!

Stephen:
I was seven years old when I got the diagnosis for autism and ADHD. At first I felt very angry at the person who made this diagnosis, because I thought they were saying something was wrong with me. We eventually learned to deal with the fact that I had Autism, and that I did have some problems.

The situation was looking very grim. That same year in late second grade, we used some ADHD medication to try to have me pay attention in class. The medication worked as intended, and I was able to pay attention to class, but the side effects were painful to my quality of life.

Mom: Some teachers “got” Stephen and some didn’t. The ones who “got” him had their hearts stolen by a little guy who filled their hearts with joy. We are truly grateful for the way that they connected with Stephen.

Stephen: The medication made it so that I would no longer feel hungry at the normal times when I should have a meal, and I began to get skinnier and skinnier until my ribs would show entirely, and I felt a significant lack of energy. Eventually the ADHD medication was dropped in favor of supplements as an alternative as I moved into the fourth grade. My body slowly but surely returned to its normal shape, and I was able to pay attention in class because of the supplements, which had a similar effect (such as the fish oil).

With all of these supplements, my academic level went up at almost at a superhuman rate. I was then able to move schools gradually until I got to where I am now.

Mom: A diagnosis is truly a double-edged sword. I tried, in the first few years to keep it a secret. But what I have learned is: don’t share this burden alone. Give others a chance to step up and help you lighten the load. Some won’t step up … they just don’t get it. But you would be amazed at how others do … including children.

Stephen: I am in a fairly mainstream school now. Most qualities of life that you would expect from perhaps an above average life have been fulfilled. I now have unlocked a higher piece of myself allowing me to write these articles that I share with others such as you.

Ken Rabow – A life coach specializing in mentoring teens: Although I hadn’t known it at the time, a standard test that Stephen would give potential mentor/therapists for Autistic kids was to talk about his complete feeling of betrayal by grownups and how they manipulated a basketball game with his fellow Asperger students vs. the local highest winning basketball team to let his team win.

Previous Mentors had told him to “get over it” whereas my response was “hey, let’s write an article about your feelings, shape them into a learning moment and see if HuffPo would publish it! They did ☺. This was a defining moment in Stephen believing his voice could and should be heard. To check out the article: click here.   Mentoring autistic teens is also about learning to really listen to what they are saying and meaning.

Stephen: The struggle with Autism has been quite the battle. Many tears were shed, many issues were fought, many goals were achieved, many hearts opened, many friends made and many lives changed.

Mom: I felt that it was always important to share how much he had grown with Stephen … especially on days when things weren’t going so well or when he was down on himself.

As someone mentoring autistic teens, here are some things that I would like to tell parents of children on the spectrum:

Try to not be totally devastated by the diagnosis. They are still the same lovable, adorable child that you had before and you can have the same dreams for them.

Don’t ever let other people put limits or ceilings on what your child can do. Trust your gut. Trust that inner brilliance that you see and work like hell to find people to help you pull it out. You can teach your child to behave in a neurotypical way.

Embrace your child’s differences and let yourself dream of the way that he or she might change the world.

Ken: Who better to share their thoughts then people who are living it? In mentoring autistic teens I have learned when to keep quiet and let them speak. I leave the last words of wisdom to my awesome client Stephen:

Stephen: So what is the moral of the story? I am talking to kids like me who have been given a diagnosis of Autism: You could say that where you are now is not necessarily where you will always be. My thought is that   nobody is only destined to one path.

I believe that the force of will is what determines success or failure, not fate, destiny or diagnosis. That most people on the autistic scale can reach the level that I have and perhaps even greater. They just need the right parenting, the right mentors, the right people in their lives and most importantly… persistence.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation

Basketball, Autism ……… and Deception

As a life coach for teens and young adults, I work with all sorts of people in their teens and twenties. I learn from all of them. One of my most powerful learning lessons came from a 13 year old client with Autism, who allowed me to see the dangers of people in power trying to “do the right thing”. I am pleased to share with you now the inner workings of one the most interesting minds I have ever met.

My name is Stephen. I am a creative, charismatic, wise, 13 year old who gets good grades and I’m autistic. Yeah, I said that. No, I’m not some dysfunctional shmoe sitting on a couch with my coach translating all my words. I’m a guy who has something to say, who happens to be autistic.

Let me tell you a story. It’s a real story about truth, deception and the school I used to go to (you know who you are). One day last March we had an assembly telling us about the “special” basketball game that was going to happen one week from then.

Our principal told us that we would be facing a “pro” basketball team made up of grade sevens, eights and high school kids and that it was supposed to be just for fun.

Our team was mostly grade sixes. Pretty young. Not very experienced. Kind of noobs and it was a fairly small basketball team made up of kids with different levels of Autism. I hadn’t signed up that year because I thought I had enough to do with karate and had done basketball and soccer the year before. The last year we hadn’t faced another school, though.

The team started practicing and my friend found out who the other basketball team was and he was pretty confident that we were going to get demolished. I thought they were going to get demolished too, but as it turns out what happened was even worse!

On the day of the basketball game, we walked into the school. It had massive hallways with lockers on both sides. At least it was massive compared to what I was used to.
We walked down a few flights of stairs and went to one of the three gyms in the school.
This gym was gigantic. The basketball nets were very high with a score board up top and bleachers for us to sit in .

I went to sit down on one of the middle bleachers only to find out that the opposing school basketball team was even bigger than I expected – high schoolers galore and even huge grade sevens and eights.

They started by introducing the teams and all the players. The teams set up and we began the first quarter. On the very first play our team got the ball and went to the other team’s net. They were just standing all around shooting the ball over and over. They kept missing and then trying again to the point that it became ridiculous. Me and the teacher beside me made a joke that our team was camping and roasting marshmallows. Game-related chuckles ☺

After that our team eventually scored and the game continued. The same thing kept happening. We scored most of the goals while the opposing team would score the occasional points. It was in the third quarter that I realized what was really happening.

One of their players passed the ball to our player. That was when I got it. I knew why our team wasn’t being demolished. When our players were “camping” the other team wasn’t fighting back because the other team was being easy on us. We were lied to. Deceived. It was then I realized the truth. This wasn’t just for fun. It was to deceive us to make us feel good about ourselves.

It made me feel angry. It made me think I was lied to probably every other time we had played. It made me doubt all the victories I had achieved in the past. It made me feel that it was all for nothing.

I asked the teacher next to me: “why is the other team being easy on us?” The teacher said “I’ll talk to you about this afterwards” and the way he said it to me made me feel that he wanted it to be secret. That he didn’t want it to ever be known.

Now many teachers at my old school may argue that they weren’t “technically lying”,
but it doesn’t even matter. They used a form of deception on students that they knew would never figure it out. As one of those students who did figure it out, I can tell you: I’d rather be told I’m weak in something than to find out later that I had been lied to about it.

The Moral of the Story;
You can have compassion for people without deceiving them.

Try to find teams that are balanced and equal to each other and if that’s not possible, then switch the teams around, put some of the monster players on our team and some of the autistic players on their team. Then all the players would learn to cooperate with people that they aren’t quite used to working with.

Honest and realistic compliments and criticism would be much more effective and tolerable by people like me.

Afterward by Ken.
I was probably the fifth person that Stephen had shared this story with and the typical response Stephen had heard was that he should just let it go. My response was; “let’s write it down, figure out a moral and share it with everyone”! Now I’m asking you to please share this with parents, teachers, schools and every person who truly wants to help people in need, using respect and honor as their guidelines.

Please share with us your own inspirations and I’ll get Stephen to write back ☺

To join Ken’s mailing list click here. To join Ken’s Facebook page click here

Asperger Syndrome in Teens – Dealing with Rage and Anxiety

Asperger Syndrome in teens is often the perfect age for life coaching young adults with Autism.
Dealing with rage and anxiety can be truly surpassed in ways that neither the young person nor the family can imagine.

Case Study – Stephen – Aspergers Syndrome in Teens: Anger.
So, it was time for my Zoom session with Stephen. Stephen prefers to call himself Autistic and before the DSMV, he would have been labeled Asperger’s Syndrome but if he was happy, I was happy. But right now, Stephen was not happy.

You would have thought he would have been. Instead of a Florida vacation, as a reward for doing great in school in marks, class participation and interactions, his mom had given him the dream vacation of his choice. 8 hours a day of D&D.

Situational Challenges of Asperger Syndrome in Teens:
Unbeknownst to Stephen’s mom, there was a kid in his group that Stephen called an “ass-hat” who constantly annoyed Stephen and another kid from the moment they got their until the moment they left. Furthermore, instead of the nice drive in Mom’s Audi, they were going home by subway. (Wait it gets better). The subway cars were stopped and everyone had to leave due to a jumper on the tracks. (Wait it gets better).

Now after waiting for the bus or the streetcar for 30 minutes, both come at the same time and they are full of p—–off people, lots of sounds, smells etc., Stephen and Mom get home one minute before the Skype session with me is about to start….

The Chat with Ken Rabow
Skype does its little Skyp-ee tune. Stephen is not on the screen. It is Stephen’s mom. Behind her is Stephen screaming: “I don’t want to do it! I’m f***ing fed up” (etc). (I have not heard what had gone on at this point.) Stephen’s mom says the we shouldn’t have the Skype session because Stephen is in his ‘out of control fit” phase.

(guess how it turned out)
to be continued soon!

Have questions?    Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

While you are waiting, Stephen and I put together an article which ended up in the Huffington Post about his issues with people trying to “make things easy” on people with Autism. Its a great read and got great response. You can read it by clicking here. If you like it please click “like” and share it.

Interested in mentoring young adults? Click here.